Parenting in the Pandemics: Silence IS Violence

Jillian “Mama J” Love
5 min readAug 26, 2020

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Offering a window into the lessons of grief, surrender, and Liberation as a parent in the intersecting pandemics of COVID-19 and Anti-Black Racism.

Let’s begin where I left off in Looking Into My Window

Denial is a tool of White Supremacy.

It breeds complacency.

It feeds off of silence.

Silence IS violence.

  • Mama J

I then ended with two personal inquiry questions:

  1. How is silence showing up for you in your parenting?
  2. What are the things not being said?

As a chief officer (aka manager of countless projects and never being satisfied) for two companies, I too have been sitting with these questions. Pondering what’s “too much” or “just enough” to reveal for transparency while not sharing all the tea. Because for me, it’s not about calling anyone out instead it’s about the lesson that comes from the breakdown and what it reveals about our deepest wounds. What remains to be healed.

What’s in Your Control?

Picture & Hand Lettering by Lizzy Russinko

When you’re in a dance of grief and surrender, it’s essential to discern what’s truly in your control. This would be true under pre-COVID times, yet it is my new golden rule amidst two intersecting pandemics — COVID-19 and Anti-Black Racism. (Both of which have simply revealed and brought to light old patterns at the individual, interpersonal, and systematic levels.) With this in mind, what I’ve come to understand firsthand both personally and professionally is that in times of crisis, each of us returns to what we know. In fact, “the shelter-in-place is a reminder that we cannot hide from our wounds, only sit with them.”

Personally, during the first four months of our global pandemic, COVID-19, I experienced blaring silence in my parenting relationship. Instead of turning towards one another in…

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Jillian “Mama J” Love

CEO & Intentional Justice™ Strategist @mamajlove1 🌈 Bite-sized + deliberate action every damn day! #IntentionalJustice